So there are two posts that I’ve been wanting to write for a while now. Thinking about them today, I realize that they go together.
I wanted to write about Carrie Fischer. About playing dress up and running around the playground pretending to be Princess Leia.
I wanted to write about Princesses, generally. How I was as girly, “wearing my Mom’s old nightgowns to be a princess” as you can get, but how Leia made it ok to be badass AND and a princess. In a dress.
But I also wanted to write about how my daughter is NOT girly. Never liked barbie dolls. Owns one dress total. And how it is both challenging and wonderful to have such a talented, individual girl in the house.
The kind who leaves fangs on the kitchen counter instead of barbie shoes.
(and there is a separate post upcoming on “you might be a cosplay Mom IF…..” you find random fangs on the kitchen counter….)
There are expectations- societal and familial, and then there are individuals seeking to find their way. My Mom negotiated this with my Grandma, I had to do it with my Mom (and the world around us), cosplay daughter does it with me.
And Carrie Fischer had to do it with her mom and with her daughter.
And she did it with fangs. (Bear with me)
I think fangs (and the freedom to wear them, hide them, display them, etc.) are a gift we can give ourselves and our mothers and daughters.
To be brave and honest (like both Leia and the real Carrie Fisher), to be sassy (like my grandmother) independent and strong (like my mother) and artistically adventurous and free (like my daughter).
Carrie Fisher gave us a princess who KILLED the slug who put her in that gold bikini,
and also wrote terrifyingly honest, brilliant and eloquent books about mother-daughter relationships that must have driven her mother to distraction.
My kid drives me to distraction. Often. And whoa nelly I KNOW I did to my Mom.
But I’m so very proud of my daughter and her fearless fangs. We all give a gift to each other as women when we accept the fangs with the princess dresses, the honesty with the manners and the things that we see in each other that are different-alongside with the things that are the same.
here’s to Carrie, and Debbie. To Hillary and Michelle. To Amy Schumer and Isabel Allende. To all the gorgeous, strong, imperfect, loving, nasty women out there who love and support each other.
Wear a lightsaber AND a gold bikini if you want. Rock those fangs.